Adoption Sunday (a day late)

Eight days ago was Orphan Awareness Sunday.

It's an important day, even a necessary day I think because, all too often, life gets busy:kids get sick, holidays come, school, lay offs, the chaos picks us up and carries us off into the whirlwind before we know what happens. 

It can be overwhelming and things that are important but aren't immediately connected to our everyday lives get laid to the side and, if we're careful we pick them up again when life settles down. If we aren't . . .

Awareness days give us the chance to pick up the things that were laid aside in the chaos. 

To remember what is important to us personally and poke us concerning where we spend our resources:be they time, money, or talents.

Awareness days also tend to be at least a little sobering. Reminding us of lives still being lost and forgotten of causes that still need champions. They shouldn't be guilt inducers but motivators whether towards the cause or remind you of your commitment to another cause that has importance in your life.

Still Awareness days give us half a picture. Which is why I was thrilled to discover that yesterday was the first Adoption Awareness day.

While Orphan Awareness Day focuses on the need, Adoption Awareness day focuses on what can happen, how to help, and the change that can come from opening your life to adoption. Sounds a lot like Reece's Rainbow. The best part is it doesn't take a lot, even in the middle of chaos to pick up and help these kids whose lives are so disconnected from our own. A donation from $5 dollars up, writing a blog post, tweeting a face, sharing online or in a small group. Each action no matter how small still says "this one matters" 

Why Angel Tree makes me Sad

Sometimes Angel Tree can get me down.

The reason's two-fold really. On one hand, it's so exciting to see numbers grow and, in some cases, families reach out and begin the adoption process. Not because they are overwhelmed by sentimentality or "feel-good" wishes of this time of year but because the support in it's various ways whispers out that families aren't alone and that they can do this. That, after counting the cost and seeking out the best for their families (not necessarily the easiest) these families step forward and say "that one's mine" However, there are also kids who just languish on the bottom of the tree, once again waiting for someone to notice and even give 5 dollars towards their grant to eliminate the glaring 0 (side note- 10% of all donation go to the voice of hope fund allowing RR to continue their work throughout the year).

It's hard to watch days and weeks go by with Angels still sporting 0's because, regardless of their grant size, it means, once again, they've faded into the background and are overlooked.

The second part that makes Angel Tree hard is the kids. Each year Angel Tree features dozens of kids from within RR. The vast majority have Down Syndrome while one child from each other category is usually added as well.

This makes for a very large tree.

But I can't help but think of the others who hold my heart but are not within our family's reach. Children who still wait for their forever families to say that they're willing to take the risk.

Children like

Dani - turning 5 next month and facing transfer if she hasn't already.

Lynda - turning 6 next month and also potentially facing transfer soon

Or what about Hester - 3 years old and so solemn

Hester, Lynda, Dani, and Tara all little girls with so much potential, each facing challenge, let's not forget them this holiday season.

Colds and Contemplation

This week has been rough for shouting, honestly.

My not quite 17 month old caught his third ever cold and it's his fourth time being sick in his short lifespan. This has brought a household of sniffles and healing that seems to come in time and in lots of clingy snuggles with Mama and Daddy.

It's miserable to be sick, more so I'm guessing when you're little and don't understand what's going on.

So we snuggle. 

We stay hydrated, we have snacks that don't hurt scratchy throats, we get our favourite blanket, our favourite show (currently Franklin) and snuggle up to get warm and comfy while the temperatures outside continue to drop. 

At least, that's what my son does. I've spent a bit of our snuggle time thinking.

How many children on the Angel Tree have someone to snuggle them when they're sick, to tell them they'll be alright when their illness wakes them in the night, to get them a drink in their favourite sippy cup? 

How many of the Angels on the tree have someone to watch over them as they sleep, sitting with them in steam and humidifiers to ward of croup, to reassure them when they don't understand why they feel so miserable? 

The answer is disheartening when you realize how low a number this could actually represent. 

Some of these kids probably do have workers who care but also have a room full of others needing their attention too. Some of the little ones may live in amazing baby houses but face transfer in years that fly by far too quickly. Others may be lucky and have foster families. Others still may sit, on their own, left to battle on their own.

I wonder about Tara who ages out at just 14. I can't imagine a 14 year old without a Mama to care for her when she's ill. It just doesn't seem right. Please, if you read this, share this little girl so her forever family can find her, or maybe even search your heart and see about supporting her grant (angel tree ornaments make great presents).

It did this sick household good to check the Angel Tree today and see numbers climbing (including Tara's!!!!) and hopefully we'll be back in shouting form before you know it.

Why Should We Care About Orphans?

Have you heard of Orphan Sunday?

Did you know, in many places, today was recognized as Orphan Sunday?

Do you realize that for too many children around the world, every Sunday is Orphan Sunday?

Life is busy, life is complicated. The fears, concerns, and cries of orphans around the world are easy enough to ignore . . . or, at least, I found them easy to ignore until I had my eyes opened.

It is true, there are some amazing groups around the world, possibly even in your backyard working with orphans and children in state care to improve their prospects and help them to prosper in their home countries, a vital need in some third world countries. It is true that some of these children go on to lead successful lives. This summer, my husband and I helped send a child to camp in the Ukraine with a group that will continue to work with the campers throughout the year where they live. Yet, even a small bit of research will reveal that this is not the case for every child and in some countries, especially for disabled orphans these success stories are far too rare.

One of my least favourite parts of Reece's Rainbow is their page "In Loving Memory". Here, each child who had been shouted for, prayed over, cheered on, and perhaps even had a family committed yet passed before making home is remembered.

Some people wonder why they should be concerned about orphans in other countries when there is so much need at home.

A society is gauged on how it cares for those who are weakest - the young, the old, the disabled, the voiceless.

In faith religious that is pure and faultless is said to  be found in looking after widows and orphans in their distress. 

I recall a family that brought their daughter home from an overseas orphanage where she was cared for, loved, and treated well. Not a picture of distress. Yet when you look at her today she has grown, she has flourished, and accomplished more than would have been possible without the unique love of family. Though not apparent until a family was present to most, this child was "distressed."

The children on RR's memorial page were in obvious distress but they weren't in our backyard, or were they?

I think of the parable of the good Samaritan. The neighbour was not the respected officials, or the kinsmen. It was the one who showed mercy. The one who stopped and loved became the neighbour even though culturally he began an enemy.

When we stop to care, even if the child is an ocean away, in China perhaps, they become our neighbour, our care shrinks the world and they become are back yard.

We are all called to care, to love, and have mercy. We are called to be human in the midst of our brokenness. 

Today, on Orphan Sunday, I challenge you to shrink your yard and gain a few neighbours while remembering a 12 year old girl named Tara.

Tying Angel Tree into your Holidays

Angel Tree is underway and the numbers are already starting to climb!

One of the things I love about Angel Tree is how simple it is to participate in Angel Tree as part of your holiday giving.

Personally, I adore ornaments for the Christmas tree.
In our family, each child was given an ornament in their stocking with the idea that, when we moved out, we would have our own ornaments filled with holiday memories to take with us. After all what's a Christmas tree but a collection of memories from holidays and gatherings long past tied up with the hope of memories to come?

This is a tradition we hope to continue with our son and Angel Tree has an amazing option for an ornament with meaning.
After going to the main Angel Tree page all you need to do is hit Ctrl+f (this opens a search box), type in "Tara," and let your mouse over the donate button.

At this point, you'll see an option for "buy ornament" with a minimum donation of $35, clicking on it puts the ornament in your cart and allows you to check out. Not only do you contribute to an Angel Tree grant (obviously I'm focusing on Tara but, technically, you could donate to any of the Angel Tree children ;) ) but, with this option, you receive a 2014 Angel Tree ornament for your tree or to give as a gift (you could even get more than 1, there's no limit until they run out of stock).  These ornaments provide a great entry point for talking with kids about the bigger issues that can get buried under the understandable Santa excitement that seems to follow this time of year.

The other way to tie Angel Tree into your Christmas giving is Angel Tree dollars. Essentially, these function as Angel Tree gift certificates that can be redeemed by the recipient in the Angel Tree grant of their choosing.

Afraid your gift would go wasted if the recipient forgets to redeem them? No worries, unclaimed AT dollars are gifted to the voice of hope fund assisting Reece's Rainbow in their year round operations which have helped over 1000 children come home to their forever families since opening.


Now to address another issue I've seen pop up occasionally since I've first started following Reece's Rainbow. After all, Angel Tree is supposed to be fun, hopeful, and full of celebrations, right?

Some people question the need to raise so much money for adoption and accuse grant organizations of "selling children" or "paying parents"

Let's cut the confusion.

In domestic adoption the cost in much less. You can go through government care which, in Canada at least, can bring some tax refunds and other benefits that leave the cost extremely low. Even going through a private agency (the most popular option for healthy babies) still comes in at less than half the cost of what agencies such as Reece's Rainbow cite as an approximate number.

The reason is simple international adoption is expensive - special needs international adoption is even more expensive!

Domestic adoption doesn't require translators, international flights (multiple as many countries require 2-3 trips), living costs in country during court, agency fees for both countries, paperwork fees to file with both countries. Costs add up quickly and these costs are necessary. Home studies, dossiers, fingerprinting, government paperwork all help to insure that each child is being paired with the right family and that each family is growing with the right child. The last thing anyone wants is a mismatch or a child to go to a family that cannot provide for their needs. These processes are necesary for the safety of everyone involved.

Now add medical needs in there. Some children's situations are desperate enough they require expedited processes and/or medical care during the trip home again adding more costs.

While the families adopting have the funds to cover an expanded family whether through income/ insurance/whatever. Finances are taken into consideration during the paperwork mentioned above. However, most families simply don't have the approximately 40 grand laying around that is required to finance the adoption in the timelines given.

This is where agencies like Reece's Rainbow come in raising funds for the child to help relieve some of the fear (how am i going to finance this) for the families and help faciliate bringing these kids home. No buying, no selling, just helping those who are taking the plunge into adoption. After all, take many people giving what they can and, even though it may be small, the end result can be spectacular.

Angel Tree 2014 is here!

It's here, it's here!

Angel Tree 2014 has started and each Angel Tree face has been added to the main page so we can watch their accounts creep up towards their goals.

I'm so incredibly excited and now seems the perfect time to introduce to our Angel for 2014 -Tara.

Ms. Tara (not her real name to protect her privacy) is a twelve year old young lady from China with Down Syndrome.

12 is such an awesome age, so many things to learn and see yet for Tara and others like her, 12 also means the clock is ticking down.
China's orphans age out at 14 years old which means they are no longer eligible for adoption and the chance for a family closes.

No matter who they are, what the struggles or abilities are, 14 seems too young to age out of the chance for a Mama and Daddy. 

According to Tara's profile she is non-verbal but does communicate through sign and shows an extroverted side in her daily life. Strong-willed and independent though not academically strong, it's also been reported that she enjoys physical activities like bikes and running around and what pre-teen can resist a bit of tv? 

Angel Tree is an awesome way to invest in this little lady as donations can be as large or small as a person decides (although Paypal is so much easier if a donation is over $5)
Donating to Tara's fund is as easy as clicking on the donate button on the right side of the blog (you can also donate through RR main Angel Tree site but will need to find Tara's individual picture and click on the donate button directly below). How easy is that!

Even for people who can't donate even sharing Reece's rainbow, Angel Tree, and blog posts like this one is helpful as someone who can donate may see or, even more amazing, a prospective family may be led to start asking questions and next year instead of on the Angel Tree a child could be putting the Angel on the top of their families Christmas tree. 

So, please share, pray, and, if you can, donate to a great cause.

Next time I'll talk about two great ways to tie Angel Tree into Christmas giving and why so much money is needed to help facilitate these adoptions.

Two Days Until Angel Tree!

It's only two days until Angel Tree officially starts and donations start counting towards the Angel Tree goals!

Did you know it's also two days until something else?

Previously unknown to me, November is Adoption Awareness Month.
Wow, I'm guessing this is either an intentional overlap or the best of coincidences.

What was less exciting were the statistics.

The ad I saw was Canadian-based (useful since I am Canadian) and stated that 21% of Canadian families consider adoption at some point in their family, a great positive statistic.
Unfortunately, the most current stats for Canada I've seen place children eligible for adoption in Canada at close to 30000 and the hundreds of children internationally helped by organizations like Reece's Rainbow are a drop in the bucket compared to the number of children looking for families. So what happened to all the interest? What makes families hesitate, drop back, and say no even when they know they are being called towards adoption.

Fear and finances, if I had to make a guess, are the two biggest killers when it comes to adoption dreams and that is why, although I also love the organizations who go in and work with orphans in their home country, my heart returns to places such as Reece's Rainbow.

The RR community address both of these dream killers in such a unique way.

International adoption is hard, expensive, and in many cases a battle on so many fronts - emotional, financial, physical, mental, paperwork (is that it's own category). Reece's rainbow provides the financial help through Angel Tree, 5/5/5, and year round fundraising to help families meet the financial burden in a timely manner. Which, for some kids, literally means the difference between life and death. The truth is for a family on the edge about to give in to the fears and the seemingly insurmountable odds, having a grant gifted could be the encouragement they need to bring their child home rather than walk away like so many in that early 21%.

Reece's Rainbow also provides another venue of support in it's people. So many people in the RR community be they staff who walk you through your questions or families who blog about the ups and downs of life pre, post, and during adoption honestly communicate about the reality of adoption and life in country for these kids rather than the misinformation and borderline fear mongering that seems to abound. I'm not saying it's easy or without struggles, neither do they but these families who pour out their lives and invite readers on their journey provide some much more wisdom/information/ and an honest ability to "count the cost" than any promotional material ever could.

If you're curious check out some of my favourites

http://covenantbuilders.blogspot.ca/  - (the Nalle family adopting number 2, warning reading their posts about the Lost Boys is eye-opening and you won't be able to hide behind the line"I didn't know" ever again)

http://nataliekeller.blogspot.ca/ - (not updated very often anymore but her posts mid adoption are beautifully honest regarding the adoption process)

http://angeleyesadoption.blogspot.ca/ (no longer updated but some great insight into life post adoption)

Do some reading, challenge some assumptions, and don't forget Tara ;)

Happy (almost) Adoption Awareness Month.

Angel Tree starts November 1st!

In the final hours, at the last call, the final child waiting for a warrior was matched!

It was a great feeling to watch the numbers shrink. First 54, then in the 30's, down to 9, 6, 4 children waiting for someone to notice and shout on their behalf.

4 was a scary number, the last 4 children sat stalled after the rapid pace that had been set until, finally, I went to bed and only one child remained.

God spoke, warriors stepped up.

Some of these kids already have grants, although funds towards their 1000 dollar goal don't count until November 1st.
So, warriors sit, wait, and pray for what is to come. Waiting to watch God speak and people move. Perhaps, even families hear the whisper that they need to grow.

I wonder though.

I felt the need to step up and speak for a child who couldn't speak for themselves weeks ago. I waited until this week in the final hours to step forward and say, in a desperate whisper, "I'm here." There is such temptation to think there is too much need, too many children, and perhaps the easiest lie of all - someone else will do it. I wonder though how much we miss out on, how much we rob ourselves by waiting until the last minute or until it's too late.

Honestly, if someone were to offer us front row tickets to the greatest show on earth, be it a performance, a premiere, a concert we'd most likely grab those tickets as fast as our hands could snatch them, in awe of our luck as we claim our prize never minding of any hoops that might need jumping through or conditions that need meeting (thinking of friends who've waited hours for concert tickets at weird hours, or worked extra shifts and sacrificed to make it to a valued event.) However, so often, when our God gives us the opportunity to have front row seats to working out of his plans we shrink back assuring ourselves that someone else would certainly fill our gap or that we surely had to have heard wrong. We convince ourselves our participation, our obedience isn't necessary.

In the end I smile, because so many have heeded the call and stepped up. Over the next few days I look forward to introducing you to the young woman you know see to the right of the screen -Tara and giving some easy ways to help her meet her Angel Tree goal as part of your own holiday celebrations.

3 Days and counting until Angel Tree 2014!

Only a few more days until Angel Tree officially starts and dozens upon dozens of children will have a chorus of warriors joining together to help raise their grant goal.

The anticipation is exciting as the last few children have warriors stand up and say, I choose this one.

As of last count 17 (now 9, whohoo for updates) children still have no warrior to cheer, to write, to pray, to plead that this one matters.

In a lot of ways Angel Tree is a combination of paradoxes. It's a fundraiser during the holidays when many budgets are stretched either through tight budgets or through the pursuit of bigger and better.

The goal of 1000 dollars raised for each child on the tree seems an extravagant goal and yet in the face of international adoption which can run 30 - 40 thousand dollars, 1000 seems a small though blessed drop in the bucket.

We plead and cheer and pray for these children for 2 months and perhaps even throughout the year and yet too many children are repeat visitors on the Angel tree still waiting for a family ready to take a risk on the unknown of bringing a broken child into a differently broken family, cause, let's face it, we're all broken in our own different ways.

and yet . . .

Every year volunteers step forward in faith, watching as God moves in mysterious and magnificent ways bringing hope that things can change. Sometimes so slowly it's painful and other times so quickly your head could spin numbers climb and grants are strengthened.

Sometimes, if you're really lucky you'll even see one or two faces that you've come to know by an old picture and a name gifted by others to protect a child's identity, have someone step forward and take their own leap of faith and begin the process to bring their child home.

I dare you, today, right now, take a look at the children on Angel Tree. See the faces, see the children, read the stories and allow your hearts to be opened.

Then, if you dare, go here see the difference a grant can make to a family and a family can make to a child.

Angel Tree starts in 3 days!

Angel Trees and a leap of faith.

I'm back and on a mission.

As I've grown a little older and a little wiser the holidays take on a different tone. The idea that our little one will actually catch some of the excitement this year brings me so much joy as I start planning our adventures even now. Lets face it, any major plan with an 18 month old requires lots of planning.

Planning is one of my favourite things.

So, I plan trips, gifts, and special memories. Times with grandparents and all our aunties and uncles, celebrating special birthdays with special people. I want this time of year to be full of good memories and family time yet, even at such a young age I worry about the materialism that runs rampant as the year winds down. I wonder how I'm supposed to instill in our son concern for others, compassion for those who don't have the same opportunities, love for those who need it.

I also realize how quickly good intentions can be laid aside if you don't make them a reality sooner than later. So this year I've agreed to raise my voice with dozens upon dozens of others in an effort to raise awareness and raise funds to bring attention to special needs orphans around the world with Reece's Rainbow, orphans who's greatest Christmas wish is a family that can see beyond the cost- financially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically and see the treasure and worth inherent to those the world considers "the least of these".

The #2014AngelTree doesn't officially start until November 1st so that's when I'll be revealing the angel I'll be shouting for this season, the goal is to get each angel an extra 1000 dollars in their grant over the next two months that will go directly towards helping their family, once committed, to paying the large upfront fees that accompany overseas adoption.

This Christmas season Angel Tree is a great way to redirect our focus off of the excess and back onto what matters. Will you join me?

When Plans Go Astray

As long as I can remember I have been a planner.
Schedules are comforting, organization makes me gleeful.
I'm one of those people.
So, when I wrote my first post on this blog (realizing that Kindred Spirits had quickly become more about the books I was reading) I set out a schedule for the next post, told a friend for accountability, and promptly ignored this page.

Like so many people it's easier to share the good, the exciting, the new adventures in our lives - rejoicing with those who rejoice without bringing the balance of the sad, hard, and heartbreaking that brings us to mourn in community as well.

The last few months of our lives have had some amazing moments of celebration: classes were finished, a thesis was started, weddings were had, and family was able to come together. However, these months have also been marked by loneliness, layoffs, and new diagnosis that have started complicating our goals of a sibling for J.

It's a lot to take in and yet, it's so much easier to say "we're fine", downplay the struggles, or stay silent, a personal favourite if you'll notice the state of this blog. There's a lot of pressure for a stay at home mom and that only seems to grow in the church and/or a small town. Normal setbacks can feel like personal failures when they should really be seen as life's ebbs and flows.

It's only recently, through the courageous honesty of some other mom bloggers that I'm starting to realize the importance of appropriate honesty. It's hard though to be open, for this introvert, is a hard fought skill, which means learning, which means failing, which can be a vicious cycle of expectations.

As much as I love schedules and organizing they only work with flexibility and only when they prioritize the right things: family, faith, personal growth, community not clean floors, upbeat blogs posts, and errand charts.

In the words of my favourite doctor - Allons-y

The littlest things make the biggest impact

I was told once, mid-way through my pregnancy, that it would be the little moments, the little things, which would steal my heart and take my breath away.

At the time, it didn't register. After all, the only thing taking my breath away was a little body rearranging my organs and causing heartburn.

Then my son arrived.

I don't remember many big things this year to be honest, at least, not big things in the scope of the world. But, for now, they are my world.

They are the giggles in the morning.

The first wobbly steps while reaching for his mama.

They are the look of wonder no matter how many times the ball is rolled across the floor.

They are the gratitude after a foot rub.

They are a mama's amazement as she rocks and watches little eyelids flutter at 2am.

They are the connection of someone saying hello.

They are the tears of relief when someone says "let me help"

So many little wonders and one begins to wonder how they ever became so blessed.