New Year's Eve is coming and I can't wait to party

For the last few years I've attended a unique New Year's Eve party that's right up my alley.

The dress code is casual and comfy, the food is bring your own, and it's also very family friendly, in fact, most of the night is centers on families and children.

Did I mention this party also takes place online? That means you're invited too!

Parties  are a lot of fun and this one is no different. There always seems to be a few jokes, some reminiscing, and a good time all around. Unlike most parties, this one is a party with a purpose.

December 31st is the last day of the Reece's Rainbow Christmas Campaign (I know, I can barely believe it either) on New Year's Eve a group comes together to give one last push for the wee ones who have captured our hearts this year.

We celebrate those like Walter, Brandi, and Elinor who met their goals financially while still pushing for the ultimate goal of their forever families

      

We push for the ones who are still short their financial goals, children like Priscilla, Emma, and Ginny knowing that each share could be the one to help them come home and every dollar helps ease  the burden on that family.

    

We also celebrate the children who were part of this campaign and are now home because sharing these families burdens through donating, prayer, and practical support if you're local and sharing these kids and bringing light to the situations facing thousands of orphans around the world. It works. It honest to goodness works and there are hundreds of families who can attest to how their lives have changed since meeting a  child in a picture and saying yes.

I know New Year's is a busy time but maybe when you're people out at the party of have a minute to spare while you're sitting in the passengers seat, come and spend a few minutes with us and see what a difference the smallest actions can make.

Christmas with special needs may not look like a traditional celebration.

It may mean cancelling family gatherings despite desire or disapproving relatives because your child simply cannot handle even one more second of new sensory input.

It may mean learning new ways of making dinner to incorporate different food needs.

It may mean grieving expectations and celebrating every little victory, even when others think you're nuts for celebrating something they don't understand.

It may mean massive coordination to set  up therapies during holiday hours and find time to start filling out the funding paperwork that comes up every new year.

It may mean facing the holidays like any other day.


You know what though, love covers all.


We planned our pj and cartoon day with weighted blankets and extra naps. We learned new recipes.
This Mama even has no shame admitting I cried when our little man excitedly wanted to dance during our Christmas Eve service, joy shining in his eyes before totally sensory overload hit that night on the phone with Nana and Papa.


Our little guy came to us after an absurdly long labour that left this Mama sore and recovering for months (seriously pregnancy and I do not get along and labour is worse). Over his 3.5 years we've gained more insights into what makes him tick and how to best meet his unique needs and I'm not going to lie,  it's hard work, frustrating work, and sometimes you just don't know so you take it minute by minute.


In so many ways adopting a special needs child is even harder.
Your life is completely turned upside down as financial costs are faced, medical needs  are assessed and treatments are devised, the child is faced with the loss of their environment, their culture, a language, the family is faced with the loss of their structure/time/finances/sleep.

Adoption is risky love.
 I have to wonder how many of us have become afraid to risk because I know how easy it is for my own spirit to sink back into the safety of complacency.

           

We're afraid so we do nothing and real children sit waiting. We're  not all called to adopt internationally but we can do something. There's domestic adoption, volunteering with local CAS, prayer, fundraising for international adoption through organizations like Reece's Rainbow and the MACC. you can share a child's picture you may not be the family for Priscilla, Walter, Ginny, or Anna but maybe someone you know is  - the power of sharing is underestimated every time.

When you can't

"When you can't run, you crawl ... and when you can't crawl, when you can't do that... 

 'You find someone to carry you.'" 

(firefly)

I remember as a child being utterly fascinated by the thick newspapers that graced my Great Grandpa's footstool every weekend. Not only did they have the best comics  and word searches which he continued to pass along to me until he passed away my first year of college, but, for many year the local CAS would feature a child or sibling group in need of a family.

Adoption was something I always remember being aware of, let's face it, as a Canadian everyone up here has heard of a certain red-headed orphan girl from P.E.I. But I was the weird child who read a story and needed to know what was behind it so I started researching. 

I found vague statistics that saddened me as a child (yep back in the pre-google days) and mostly put it to rest due to a lack of connection. When college came I stumbled upon Reece's Rainbow and that interest was renewed  only this time with more passion. Now there was internet, research, I could double and triple check the facts (did I mention that the term nerd is often used when describing me? I think it's pretty accurate and usually loving). I didn't like the facts.

Did you know that if  orphans founded their own country they'd be the 10th most populated?

Did you know that many children with special needs will not face happy futures after aging out falling victim to trafficking, drugs, gangs, poverty, suicide, or wasting away in an institution?

Did you know that the brain develops differently when faced with trauma or lack of human interaction?

How does one face a situation when hundreds of thousands of lives are being set up to fail and falter.

I remember reading a blog,

It  told the starfish story and I allowed my thinking to shift. 

How  do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

How do you help the orphan crises? One step at a time. 

It's really the only way to do anything. One step and then another, walking in faith.

But sometimes it wears on me and I see that weariness in others too. 

Life keeps us firmly unable to do anything but write, shout, and try to help raise funds to brings these kids home before it's too late though my heart aches to do more.

But sometimes it feels like I'm standing on a beach covered with starfish and no one's getting to the water.

My first Angel Tree girl has aged out. She will never have a family and faces life in whatever system her country has  established. We shouted and fundraised but no mama or papa stood up.

My second child still waits with a larger grant than most. She's waited 2 years already and continues to wait, her file has information, though dated and yet no one steps up.

My current girly is sitting at the bottom of the  tree

With so little information and a dated picture, interest just isn't there despite my efforts and my heart breaks as i see her slipping through the cracks.

I'm tired and  weary and my heart longs for things I can't  control. Today would you help me out and share this little girl, share the Christmas Campaign, because I'm weary and heavy hearted  and could sure  use someone to help carry me today.

Sorry it's been so quiet lately but  . .  . we are now successfully moved in and it's been an undertaking. Despite walking our little guy through the steps, involving him in packing, showing pictures of the new house, watching the truck load/unload, and setting up his room asap his poor brain is overwhelmed to the point of melting down whenever he sees a box and reverting back to mostly communicating through echolalia,  As a house we're exhausted even with the supports we've put into place and all the incredible growth our little J has made thanks to the therapists and autism support we have access to locally.

Which makes me think of 100 other children all with needs far greater than our little J, with far less supports, and no one walking them through the confusing twists and turns of shifting orphanages and transfers to institutions  or older children's homes if they're lucky when they should be getting excited about Santa and Kindergarten. 

I see  the confusion in my little boy's eyes as he surveys his room and methodically checks for his safeties and wonder how many children in the MACC feel safe tonight,  how many have carers  who can take a minute to cuddle a scared child in a room with too many children and too many worn out staff.

I think of one little girl who's file hasn't been updated in so long I can't remember if it has ever been updated. 

Who remembers the children as they threaten to slip between the cracks?

Ginny is 8 years old this year. In her country  she's most likely been moved around at least once. She was probably not walked through the process and in her country pictures would most likely have made things worse. After reading some stories, I don't want to imagine where she is or what regressions she may have experienced because I'll be honest, it's heartbreaking to see what happens in laying down rooms.  Day in and day out those are living, breathing children who deserve so much more than what is waiting for them at the end of that road and it's easier to imagine these kids frozen in the moment of time their picture was taken.

The truth is every single child in the MACC is facing a bleak future without intervention and while staying in the bleakness of this future seems even less palatable during the holiday season it should spur us on towards the hope that marks these holidays.  

MACC exists to raise awareness, funds, and find families for these children and what is more hopeful than that?  Children who were on Angel Tree last year are on their way home for Christmas this year and while the journey may be difficult there is still hope in the redemption and introduction of a life with possibilities. 

So please take a minute and share, let's face it most of us spend too much time  on social media anyway (am I right?), incorporate RR into your Christmas gifts, pray for these kiddos, or maybe even examine whether or not 2017 is the year your family looks into adoption. Who knows maybe the person who pulls a child back from the cracks is  you/

A Time for Traditions and a Time for Miracles

It's seems like everywhere is already buzzing with anticipation  of the upcoming holidays. 

Personally, I'm horrible for it. 

As soon as Remembrance Day  (November 11th here in Canada) has passed outcome the Christmas Cd's, decorations, and holiday traditions.

Some traditions hold a special place in my heart through their power to connect: past to present, generation to generation, people near and far.
As a shy, little introvert  I spent a lot of time feeling disconnected as a child and I adored  the holidays  that allowed me to look at a world where connection seemed a little easier and hope seemed a little more commonly  anticipated.

This year, one of my favourite traditions is looking to bring some hope and connection to 100  very special children  who are in desperate need of both.
As of November 1st the   Miracles of Adoption Christmas Capaign  (formerly  known as Angel  Tree) has officially begun for the 2016 Christmas season.
For the next two months, 100 orphans with special needs will be shared, advocated for, funds raised for their ransom, and maybe with the hope of Christmas  miracles have some find families who are willing to start the journey of bringing their son or daughter home.

2016 is my third year advocating  for one of these precious  kiddo's.
 Sadly,  Tara aged out this year and is now ineligible for adoption according to the rules in her country. Tarsha still waits with a grant of over $3000. Although not part of this year's campaign  Tarsha is still equally in need of a family and may pop up from time to time along with this year's very  special  kiddo.

But first an explanation. When it comes to MACC or Angel Tree, I was notorious for signing up late. As in, look up at the calendar realize sign ups end the next day and frantically go to see who's left. As a result, one very special  little girl who has been on my heart for  years was never eligible  for the campaign. This year, along with the name change, all children on Reece's Rainbow - regardless of diagnosis, this meant that after so long in the shadows, it's finally time for this little girl to shine.

I'm so excited  to introduce you to my  kiddo for MACC. Ginny.

Ginny

I'll be  honest, despite holding my  attention for so long, very little is known about this precious little girl.  This is the only picture I can remember beside her name. Her description has never wavered from a year of birth and her list of diagnoses. This precious little girl is so much more than a dated picture and a list of medical terms that could be, at first glance, be frightening. She's worth fighting for, sharing, shouting out from the rooftops for, and raising a ransom for. She deserves the title of daughter  and the chance to be in a family.

Please, take a minute to explore this year's MACC, look at the faces of these kids, each with their own story and so deserving of being seen. Take  a minute  and share their story, share the campaign, donate some dollars to their grants, pray, and come back periodically to see the  difference a few small actions in one very special tradition can make when we all come together.

But he seems so high functioning . . .

"He must be very high functioning"

"I didn't realize he was autistic"

"Oh, I forgot"

Some people may think these are things that would warm a Mama's heart. 

Evidence that the appointments, the therapy, the research, the tears, the struggle was all worth it as your little one was meeting societies norms.

After all,  what Mama doesn't  feel their heart yearn to see the little one succeed after so many struggles.

I guess I'm one of the odd ones. For every little leap of  joy my heart makes as my little guy makes  his steps forward I'm painfully aware of all the little steps happening behind the scenes, to the side, and turn us all around as we try to navigate the craziness of our son's journey with autism.  I'm aware of the meltdowns, the pain, the confusion, and the fear my little one faces in a world that is always on the go and overloading his brain with stimuli it wasn't built to naturally process.  I'm aware of  the hasty retreats to quiet, the calming down, the sensory supports, and the tears from when the effort of fitting  in with the demands of the world become too much.

With that  awareness comes sadness and concern for what my son may face because he seems  "so high functioning"

When people think of autism they think of the extremes. The child who's non-verbal and lives in their own world or the individual who lives no differently than a neurotypical peer.

But autism isn't necessarily a condition of extremes. Autism is a spectrum and one  case does not necessarily fall on the spectrum the same way as another (This comic is an awesome introduction). Our little one  can be quit the talker, laughing and yelling and having fun. However, external noise,   sensory input, and transitions can all throw him into a meltdown which is why I've become a big fan of online shopping. A large portion of his speech falls under the category of echolalia  with his relying on memorized phrases that will come out at random times and heaven help the person who doesn't know the script.

I'm honestly  thankful that people see so many sides to our little guy: his love  for music, his manners and compassion, his smile, his energy but I worry that by forgetting his diagnosis they actually do him a  disservice. By recognizing his autism you don't have to label my little guy that's a  personal choice but you do have to recognize that he may interact  differently and need different supports to reach his full, untapped potential. By denying his  diagnosis he's also denied that support and left, with us, to face the  consequences of circumstances that expect him to act in situations where he is at a  deficit. 

So what does this Mama's heart hope for?

I hope one day, instead of the "I forgot's" and the minimizing comments it becomes more common to hear "how can  we help him continue to succeed"

Sunday Spotlight

Another Sunday.

The hardest part of these posts is picking the faces, how do you choose a handful out of pages and pages of faces, sadly aware that these are just a small representation of the thousands and thousands of unseen orphans waiting around the globe.

I'm never quite sure aside from the fact that following your heart is always a good place to start.

So here are just a few of the faces that plucked at my heart this week.

 

Otto is  such a little thing for a boy who turns 9 in 2016 but oh the ripples he's created these last few weeks. Otto was one of the recipients of the Shadow Children Giveaway . As a result, Otto  has over 4700 in a grant to help bring him home. This little love has a wide host of conditions noted on his file  including FAS and autistic features. however, he also has some wonderful insight into his personality for interested families thanks to a 10 day stay at camp last summer where he apparently "came alive".

Scout will also be 9 in 2016 and look at the grin in this picture. Scout is listed as having CP as well as club feet which were corrected a few years ago. She  came to the orphanage at age 3. She's listed as a spunky little girl who is quite the talker, has self-care skills and is helpful. 

Waniya is also 9 in 2016, what a wonderful age! He file lists her as being diagnosed with Cerebral palsy; Mixed specific developmental disorders; Coloboma of optic disc. This little girl has been waiting on RR since 2012 and needs a family to call her own.

Shirley will be 12 in 2016 and has 18 months until she becomes ineligible for  adoption :( She is described as a sweet  girl who wants to be adopted and has had the concept explained to her. Diagnosed with CP, it is said to mainly affect her legs and she has received some surgery for her condition. Due to her age Shirley is eligible for an older child grant with RR of 10000.

Rounding out this week is Judith.Her file is almost as small as her grant at the moment  :( Listed  as having  Cp and dual hemiplegia.  This little girl has a smile that outshines anything else.  At only 4, the benefits of therapy and family can  not be overstated for this sweetheart.

Not everyone can adopt but maybe you can share or contribute to a grant, visit  RR and see the other children who wait, advocate, or whatever uses your strengths and abilities.

Not everyone can adopt but everyone can do something and that's how lives are changed.

Sometimes it's too late and sometimes we just need to try again

It's been a hard  few months for those who follow the  goings on at Reece's Rainbow.
The advocates, the quiet cheerers, the families, the would be families.

You see, on RR one of the big things is movement.  There are the children who don't move - the ones who sit on lists unseen as they wait for years with grants  that don't grow or  only grow during Angel Tree.

There are those that move to my family found me and slowly move from page to page until they are home with their families.

Then there are the other children who move and leave us wishing they hadn't. Children like these three.
                   

Cameron, Cristoff, and Judah who joined the 66 other children who have died while listed on Reece's Rainbow before they were able to be adopted. 69 small lives that deserved so much more.

Some children move to yet another page - aged out. These are the children who are no longer eligible in their country for adoption due to their age and immigration laws on both sides of the equation. Children of 14 and 16 who have lost their chance forever and now face a future that, statistically, is not in their favour.

My first angel tree girl. Sweet Tara

made her journey over to the aged out page this month. Though her birthday is in September it's too late to start the paperwork and, therefore, too late for her.

I was her warrior two years ago. At that point her profile was at least a year old and was  not able to be updated until the day it was moved over. Her grant grew into the thousands, 15  000 in fact and still no Mama or Papa saw her. So she waited and time ran out.

It's hard when the time runs out because it's not just a  deadline it's a child, in this case a girl staring down her 14th birthday and the realization that no one is coming. Sometimes it's just too late.

That's hard. so hard. It makes me want to run away from blogging and Reece's Rainbow and all the children who's faces I see and who break my heart in my frustration  at the system, the circumstances, and my own feeble whispers against  a world that doesn't have the time.

Did you notice I disappeared when Tara moved? 

While some  see a deadline missed or a picture moved. 

For others, it is potential lost and a young girl who's path is now set on a much harder path than seems fair and that's okay to grieve,  in fact, it's good to grieve the Tara's and the Cristoff's - to note the injustices of life  and the losses.

It's what you do with that grief and your time and there are still so many treasures waiting.

                        

Sunday Spotlight

June is birthday month in our house.

2 little boys in our house, at least 3 cousins, a few aunts, sister in law, grandmothers - every time we turn around from June 1st until July 1st there is another set of congratulations to send along. Birthdays are a happy thing, a time of celebration and reflection . . . unless you're an orphan.


Depending on where you're from, if you're an orphan birthdays mean you're that much closer to aging out and either left to fend for yourself or destined to remain in a lonely adult mental institution that has probably been your home for a few years already.

For some kids on Reece's Rainbow the birthdays left are getting far too few for comfort.

Winnie

Clara

Morris

Soleil

Scottie

Shirley

Tatumn

For some of these kids there are no birthdays left. This is there last year to find a family before that door closes forever. It's a sad, simple fact and after celebrating with my own babies this past week, one that my Mama's heart finds harder and harder to understand. Every child deserves a parent to love them and celebrate with them. One that won't bypass their hurts and griefs of which these kids have had more than their share. Please share one this week, or hop over to the aging out page at RR and find a child to share so that their last birthday might just be their last one alone.

Sunday Spotlight

Have you stopped by Reece's Rainbow lately?

In honour of the tenth anniversary the website has undergone a massive overhaul. It's definitely worth going over and taking a look. As with any major reno it takes some time to work out all the kinks in the system so it may take a few extra minutes to spot the page you're looking for or the page may be down for a few more days.

But while you're looking you may just find

Hana

This little sweetheart will be 9 this year. She's noted for her amazing laughter, agreeable nature, intelligence, and hard work. She loves piano and colouring. She also has spina bifida and loads of potential.

Emma

Emma turns 7 this year. She's reported to be friendly and calm although she does struggle with delays. Emma's orphange can only keep her through the summer at which point she will be transferred to a school orphanage for mentally delayed children.

Lucie

Lucie is 7 and lives in an adult mental institution. This is never the best option for a child this young and yet Lucie still has her smile.

Lexi

Lexi is almost 12 (children age out at 14 in her part of the world) This sweet lady has lower spine issues and an issue with her right knee. At her last update she was reported to love singing, was smart, and had formed close friendships with other children.

These are just four of the reasons why Reece's is overhauling their website and gearing up for another busy decade. No child should be forgotten, every child deserves to be loved and wanted. So celebrate with me by checking out the new website, finding a few new faces, and helping spread the word.

Sunday Spotlight

It's hard to believe but Reece's Rainbow turned 10 this week!

It's been a crazy ten years and almost 1600 children have be united with their families since those early days.

While there have been some changes over the years, the focus remains the same bringing orphans home. One of the more recent changes involves the oldest children on RR, the aging out who's window for rescue is starting to narrow.

Thanks to a pooling of resources all older children are eligible for a 10 000 grant (until the fund runs down which i'm told is many, many adoptions from now). This 10 000 goes a long way to helping families combat the high cost of international adoption and the lower fund raising time which can accompany these older kids.

Kids like

Irina

Already listed for over 6 years and still waiting :(

Haven

Listed for over 5 years

Angela

Maiya

Maddie

Each listed for 4 years

And Tara my first Angel and so close to aging out who's been listed almost 6 years :(

Each of these beautiful young ladies have been listed for years, a quarter of their lives waiting on a site that advocates getting these kids seen. Sometime change is hard but in this case I'm so grateful that the older children are now eligible for this amazing grant and hopefully these girls will celebrate 11 years of Reece's with families of their own.

Sunday Spoptlight

It's always hard to post these pictures.
How to choose a handful of faces from a list that is constantly growing.
To be honest, I get overwhelmed and disappear for a bit to regroup, returning when time or a familiar face like Mandy and Victoria make their way over to the my family found me page.

So I'm back with a new little group to shout for this week and today's post will be different because each of these children are summed up by a single line. Please see them, see the potential behind the name and diagnosis and help get these kids seen and home!

Chelsea - born 2009, mild intellectual delays

Christina - born 2010, blind.

Harlowe- born 2008, Cerebral palsy, focal symptomatic epileptic syndrome, complex local convulsions; rough delay of psychological and speech development

MaryAnn- born 2008, Cerebral Palsy, hydrocephalus

Skyler - born 2003 - Cerebral Palsy, eligible for 10 000 older child grant

See past the line and shout for these kiddo's who deserve so much more.

I love you

Three little words.

They mean so many things to so many people.

Our oldest turns 3 in a week and a half.

This week he said I love you.

It's the second time he's said it to me.

It's funny the things that go through your mind when your child receives a diagnosis. What will this mean? How do I help my child? If your nerdy like me - Where's the nearest literature? The questions keep coming as you navigate  raising your child in a world that has charts, averages, and progression lines and your child's taken the box and is spinning in the kitchen with it on his head.

After awhile things start to even out. You learn terms like OT, PT, Speech path. You start your own experiential master class in sensory needs, therapy techniques, and how to feed a child who's brain literally makes most common food textures public enemy number 1.
You even start learning to ignore the stares and glares when your child melts down because the lights and to bright and the noise echoing hurts in the stores but you go because life goes on.

You find the joys as the grow, like any child, like every child, just on their own pace.

In our house:
We've cuddled over trains, laughed over tickles, and blown bubbles til our cheeks hurt.
We've painted pictures to give away because even in his own world he likes to share smiles and boy do his grandparents smile when they get a picture. We've bakes cupcakes because he loves to pour and sprinkle sprinkles. We snuggle every day and get lost in books because that's who our little guy is and so much more.

But there are still challenges and even though the big ones remain in varying forms, we're far enough in that new variations have come to light.

Like speaking.

Autism and speech delay seem to go hand in hand. A terrible twosome that helps keep kiddo's in their own world. Those first words come with such work and for some never come.

We took our techniques and lessons, our speech path and OT's, our self regulation and started small: bubbles, Dada, Mama.
Slowly jabbering came and turned into words.
We've moved to jabbering and small sentences. He just learned No :) For us each emphatic "No" is a slightly exasperating victory. We also have entered the realm of echolalia, a world that makes me wish all those autism books I uncovered months ago had a chapter on cryptography.

It's two steps forward and 1 step back (with a few spins, flips, and a little breakdance thrown in for good measure).

This week we snuggled and like every other day I told him I loved him and in his little voice he parroted right back.

Somedays you make your victories out of the scraps, others they're given to you on a silver platter if you have your eyes open to see them.

Sunday Spotlight

Another week has passed and that means it's time for some more faces.

It can be hard to choose so few when the number to draw from is so large. So many children and each needing and deserving their own home.

If you manage to stumble across this blog, I beg you take 5 minutes and look at these children, go to Reece's and look at the faces. If you want to see the power of sharing a single story I urge you to go and check out Micah 6:8's post from this week. The power of sharing and sacrificial love is amazing.

Now onto this week's faces.

First up is Penny

Penny will be 5 years old this year and look at this sweetheart! Penny has been diagnosed with CP and crossed eyes, but is also listed as being able to walk independently. Some therapy and a family would do this little girlie wonders.

Annie's a face that has become all too familiar on RR due to the amount of time she's been listed

Annie just celebrated her 10th birthday and was transferred to an institution over a year ago which coincides with her last update :(

She was noted as having delays at that time but also noted for being an affectionate girl who sought attention and had a willingness to learn. 

Merida

is another sweetheart who's been listed too long and dear to my heart as we featured her at our wedding (another sign of how long she's been listed.)
This little sweetie breaks my heart every time I check in on her. Her grant hasn't grown since July of 2012 and her profile hasn't been update since before that. If you only have time to share one this week, please, share this girlie for me.


Finally we have Tracy and Bart

These older siblings NEED to be adopted together.
Tracy is reported to be healthy and a top student in her class. Bart has a cleft lip (in the picture it appears corrected?) and like so many is reported to love soccer.
Siblings are so much harder to place and are even considered special placements in domestic adoptions due to the added difficulty. Do you know someone ready to take a leap for these two?