Adoption Sunday (a day late)

Eight days ago was Orphan Awareness Sunday.

It's an important day, even a necessary day I think because, all too often, life gets busy:kids get sick, holidays come, school, lay offs, the chaos picks us up and carries us off into the whirlwind before we know what happens. 

It can be overwhelming and things that are important but aren't immediately connected to our everyday lives get laid to the side and, if we're careful we pick them up again when life settles down. If we aren't . . .

Awareness days give us the chance to pick up the things that were laid aside in the chaos. 

To remember what is important to us personally and poke us concerning where we spend our resources:be they time, money, or talents.

Awareness days also tend to be at least a little sobering. Reminding us of lives still being lost and forgotten of causes that still need champions. They shouldn't be guilt inducers but motivators whether towards the cause or remind you of your commitment to another cause that has importance in your life.

Still Awareness days give us half a picture. Which is why I was thrilled to discover that yesterday was the first Adoption Awareness day.

While Orphan Awareness Day focuses on the need, Adoption Awareness day focuses on what can happen, how to help, and the change that can come from opening your life to adoption. Sounds a lot like Reece's Rainbow. The best part is it doesn't take a lot, even in the middle of chaos to pick up and help these kids whose lives are so disconnected from our own. A donation from $5 dollars up, writing a blog post, tweeting a face, sharing online or in a small group. Each action no matter how small still says "this one matters" 

Why Angel Tree makes me Sad

Sometimes Angel Tree can get me down.

The reason's two-fold really. On one hand, it's so exciting to see numbers grow and, in some cases, families reach out and begin the adoption process. Not because they are overwhelmed by sentimentality or "feel-good" wishes of this time of year but because the support in it's various ways whispers out that families aren't alone and that they can do this. That, after counting the cost and seeking out the best for their families (not necessarily the easiest) these families step forward and say "that one's mine" However, there are also kids who just languish on the bottom of the tree, once again waiting for someone to notice and even give 5 dollars towards their grant to eliminate the glaring 0 (side note- 10% of all donation go to the voice of hope fund allowing RR to continue their work throughout the year).

It's hard to watch days and weeks go by with Angels still sporting 0's because, regardless of their grant size, it means, once again, they've faded into the background and are overlooked.

The second part that makes Angel Tree hard is the kids. Each year Angel Tree features dozens of kids from within RR. The vast majority have Down Syndrome while one child from each other category is usually added as well.

This makes for a very large tree.

But I can't help but think of the others who hold my heart but are not within our family's reach. Children who still wait for their forever families to say that they're willing to take the risk.

Children like

Dani - turning 5 next month and facing transfer if she hasn't already.

Lynda - turning 6 next month and also potentially facing transfer soon

Or what about Hester - 3 years old and so solemn

Hester, Lynda, Dani, and Tara all little girls with so much potential, each facing challenge, let's not forget them this holiday season.

Colds and Contemplation

This week has been rough for shouting, honestly.

My not quite 17 month old caught his third ever cold and it's his fourth time being sick in his short lifespan. This has brought a household of sniffles and healing that seems to come in time and in lots of clingy snuggles with Mama and Daddy.

It's miserable to be sick, more so I'm guessing when you're little and don't understand what's going on.

So we snuggle. 

We stay hydrated, we have snacks that don't hurt scratchy throats, we get our favourite blanket, our favourite show (currently Franklin) and snuggle up to get warm and comfy while the temperatures outside continue to drop. 

At least, that's what my son does. I've spent a bit of our snuggle time thinking.

How many children on the Angel Tree have someone to snuggle them when they're sick, to tell them they'll be alright when their illness wakes them in the night, to get them a drink in their favourite sippy cup? 

How many of the Angels on the tree have someone to watch over them as they sleep, sitting with them in steam and humidifiers to ward of croup, to reassure them when they don't understand why they feel so miserable? 

The answer is disheartening when you realize how low a number this could actually represent. 

Some of these kids probably do have workers who care but also have a room full of others needing their attention too. Some of the little ones may live in amazing baby houses but face transfer in years that fly by far too quickly. Others may be lucky and have foster families. Others still may sit, on their own, left to battle on their own.

I wonder about Tara who ages out at just 14. I can't imagine a 14 year old without a Mama to care for her when she's ill. It just doesn't seem right. Please, if you read this, share this little girl so her forever family can find her, or maybe even search your heart and see about supporting her grant (angel tree ornaments make great presents).

It did this sick household good to check the Angel Tree today and see numbers climbing (including Tara's!!!!) and hopefully we'll be back in shouting form before you know it.

Why Should We Care About Orphans?

Have you heard of Orphan Sunday?

Did you know, in many places, today was recognized as Orphan Sunday?

Do you realize that for too many children around the world, every Sunday is Orphan Sunday?

Life is busy, life is complicated. The fears, concerns, and cries of orphans around the world are easy enough to ignore . . . or, at least, I found them easy to ignore until I had my eyes opened.

It is true, there are some amazing groups around the world, possibly even in your backyard working with orphans and children in state care to improve their prospects and help them to prosper in their home countries, a vital need in some third world countries. It is true that some of these children go on to lead successful lives. This summer, my husband and I helped send a child to camp in the Ukraine with a group that will continue to work with the campers throughout the year where they live. Yet, even a small bit of research will reveal that this is not the case for every child and in some countries, especially for disabled orphans these success stories are far too rare.

One of my least favourite parts of Reece's Rainbow is their page "In Loving Memory". Here, each child who had been shouted for, prayed over, cheered on, and perhaps even had a family committed yet passed before making home is remembered.

Some people wonder why they should be concerned about orphans in other countries when there is so much need at home.

A society is gauged on how it cares for those who are weakest - the young, the old, the disabled, the voiceless.

In faith religious that is pure and faultless is said to  be found in looking after widows and orphans in their distress. 

I recall a family that brought their daughter home from an overseas orphanage where she was cared for, loved, and treated well. Not a picture of distress. Yet when you look at her today she has grown, she has flourished, and accomplished more than would have been possible without the unique love of family. Though not apparent until a family was present to most, this child was "distressed."

The children on RR's memorial page were in obvious distress but they weren't in our backyard, or were they?

I think of the parable of the good Samaritan. The neighbour was not the respected officials, or the kinsmen. It was the one who showed mercy. The one who stopped and loved became the neighbour even though culturally he began an enemy.

When we stop to care, even if the child is an ocean away, in China perhaps, they become our neighbour, our care shrinks the world and they become are back yard.

We are all called to care, to love, and have mercy. We are called to be human in the midst of our brokenness. 

Today, on Orphan Sunday, I challenge you to shrink your yard and gain a few neighbours while remembering a 12 year old girl named Tara.

Tying Angel Tree into your Holidays

Angel Tree is underway and the numbers are already starting to climb!

One of the things I love about Angel Tree is how simple it is to participate in Angel Tree as part of your holiday giving.

Personally, I adore ornaments for the Christmas tree.
In our family, each child was given an ornament in their stocking with the idea that, when we moved out, we would have our own ornaments filled with holiday memories to take with us. After all what's a Christmas tree but a collection of memories from holidays and gatherings long past tied up with the hope of memories to come?

This is a tradition we hope to continue with our son and Angel Tree has an amazing option for an ornament with meaning.
After going to the main Angel Tree page all you need to do is hit Ctrl+f (this opens a search box), type in "Tara," and let your mouse over the donate button.

At this point, you'll see an option for "buy ornament" with a minimum donation of $35, clicking on it puts the ornament in your cart and allows you to check out. Not only do you contribute to an Angel Tree grant (obviously I'm focusing on Tara but, technically, you could donate to any of the Angel Tree children ;) ) but, with this option, you receive a 2014 Angel Tree ornament for your tree or to give as a gift (you could even get more than 1, there's no limit until they run out of stock).  These ornaments provide a great entry point for talking with kids about the bigger issues that can get buried under the understandable Santa excitement that seems to follow this time of year.

The other way to tie Angel Tree into your Christmas giving is Angel Tree dollars. Essentially, these function as Angel Tree gift certificates that can be redeemed by the recipient in the Angel Tree grant of their choosing.

Afraid your gift would go wasted if the recipient forgets to redeem them? No worries, unclaimed AT dollars are gifted to the voice of hope fund assisting Reece's Rainbow in their year round operations which have helped over 1000 children come home to their forever families since opening.


Now to address another issue I've seen pop up occasionally since I've first started following Reece's Rainbow. After all, Angel Tree is supposed to be fun, hopeful, and full of celebrations, right?

Some people question the need to raise so much money for adoption and accuse grant organizations of "selling children" or "paying parents"

Let's cut the confusion.

In domestic adoption the cost in much less. You can go through government care which, in Canada at least, can bring some tax refunds and other benefits that leave the cost extremely low. Even going through a private agency (the most popular option for healthy babies) still comes in at less than half the cost of what agencies such as Reece's Rainbow cite as an approximate number.

The reason is simple international adoption is expensive - special needs international adoption is even more expensive!

Domestic adoption doesn't require translators, international flights (multiple as many countries require 2-3 trips), living costs in country during court, agency fees for both countries, paperwork fees to file with both countries. Costs add up quickly and these costs are necessary. Home studies, dossiers, fingerprinting, government paperwork all help to insure that each child is being paired with the right family and that each family is growing with the right child. The last thing anyone wants is a mismatch or a child to go to a family that cannot provide for their needs. These processes are necesary for the safety of everyone involved.

Now add medical needs in there. Some children's situations are desperate enough they require expedited processes and/or medical care during the trip home again adding more costs.

While the families adopting have the funds to cover an expanded family whether through income/ insurance/whatever. Finances are taken into consideration during the paperwork mentioned above. However, most families simply don't have the approximately 40 grand laying around that is required to finance the adoption in the timelines given.

This is where agencies like Reece's Rainbow come in raising funds for the child to help relieve some of the fear (how am i going to finance this) for the families and help faciliate bringing these kids home. No buying, no selling, just helping those who are taking the plunge into adoption. After all, take many people giving what they can and, even though it may be small, the end result can be spectacular.